1
00:00:35,113 --> 00:00:39,500
Sorry Im late. Where are we? Voting
on a name for the new road. Good.

2
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,604
So long as we
don't name it after any of us.

3
00:00:41,704 --> 00:00:45,141
I hate that puffy-puffy,
self-publicity, don't you?

4
00:00:45,241 --> 00:00:46,829
So.. what's the suggestion?

5
00:00:46,929 --> 00:00:49,496
"David Horton Road".
Oh, please!..

6
00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:53,123
In the name of all that is holy,
NO!..

7
00:00:53,223 --> 00:00:57,048
I agree with the vicar on this.
Very poor idea, Hugo.

8
00:00:57,148 --> 00:01:00,810
I'd rather name it in memory
of someone who is no longer with us.

9
00:01:00,910 --> 00:01:06,679
Someone like, say...my predecessor
as chairman of the parish council.

10
00:01:06,779 --> 00:01:11,539
Excellent!
Your predecessor..,being...

11
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,097
Your father's cousin?
Whose name was?

12
00:01:14,197 --> 00:01:16,329
David Horton. That's right.

13
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:20,062
All those in favour
of naming it "David Horton Road",

14
00:01:20,162 --> 00:01:22,181
after my predecessor...?

15
00:01:24,242 --> 00:01:25,676
Carried.

16
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:29,460
Now, Vicar,
you had a couple of things? Yes.

17
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,662
Well the main thing is
that by the next time we meet,

18
00:01:31,762 --> 00:01:36,353
Hugo here will have married the
lovely Alice Tinker. That's right.

19
00:01:36,453 --> 00:01:42,200
Dibley's answer to Michelle
Pfeiffer, only much, much prettier.

20
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:48,026
This is an ideal opportunity
to offer him a few words of encouragement. Anyone?

21
00:01:48,126 --> 00:01:53,556
Well, certainly. Yes. I've not known
what it is to be married, Hugo,

22
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:58,636
but I still hope to plant my seed
in a certain acreage of womanhood.

23
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,837
But I reckon if you treat Alice
like I treat my prize cow,

24
00:02:07,937 --> 00:02:12,050
you won't go far wrong...
apart from making her eat grass

25
00:02:12,150 --> 00:02:14,595
and getting her mounted by a bull,
of course.

26
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:19,373
If you do that, you'll get arrested,
like my father was.

27
00:02:21,371 --> 00:02:23,461
Well, that's very helpful,
Thank you Owen.

28
00:02:23,661 --> 00:02:26,175
Yes...
Any words of wisdom from you, Jim?

29
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:29,102
Well, I-I've been married 43 years,

30
00:02:29,202 --> 00:02:33,613
and the secret
of a successful marriage, Hugo,

31
00:02:33,713 --> 00:02:36,207
is sex and plenty of it.

32
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,000
Well, hooray.

33
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:40,938
With as many different women
as possible.

34
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,367
Oh, no.

35
00:02:43,567 --> 00:02:47,000
Especially Orientals, cos they can...

36
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:51,446
Thank you. That's quite enough.
..What about you, Frank?

37
00:02:51,646 --> 00:02:55,265
Well, I've never had sex with an Oriental.
-No, no, no..

38
00:02:55,365 --> 00:02:58,240
I meant have you any words
of advice for Hugo?

39
00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,298
I can do no better than read
from this week's horoscope.

40
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,676
"Libra - romance is in the air,

41
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:10,823
and happiness
shall be yours eternally."

42
00:03:10,923 --> 00:03:13,117
That's absolutely splendid. Yes.

43
00:03:13,217 --> 00:03:16,181
Except you're Capricorn
ar'nt you Hugo. Right.

44
00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:21,341
"Capricorn - forget romance, you
are heading for total catastrophe."

45
00:03:23,461 --> 00:03:28,714
Good Lord! This is totally out of
the blue, Your Grace. I don't know.

46
00:03:28,814 --> 00:03:32,624
I'm aware of the importance
of inner-city work,

47
00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:35,570
and I've always
wanted to do missionary stuff.

48
00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:39,043
You know how fond I am
of all things missionary.

49
00:03:40,314 --> 00:03:46,149
It's just... Oh, dear. It really
would be very hard indeed to leave Dibley.

50
00:03:46,649 --> 00:03:48,398
Ding-dong, Avon calling!

51
00:03:48,998 --> 00:03:52,014
Or rather, ding-dong,
Verger calling I suppose.

52
00:03:52,314 --> 00:03:54,887
On the other hand, leave it with me.

53
00:03:54,987 --> 00:03:59,518
OK. Bye. And love to Rocky. ..OK.

54
00:03:59,618 --> 00:04:03,426
So, what can I do for you,
quivering bride-to-be?

55
00:04:04,387 --> 00:04:07,764
Well, as you know my Mum's making
my wedding dress. -Mmm...

56
00:04:07,864 --> 00:04:11,020
and I just want to run it by you
before she actually starts knitting.

57
00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:16,306
Knitting...
Yeah...

58
00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:20,580
As you can see, we're going for
the traditional white. Good idea.

59
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:25,031
With red and blue stripes, just
to give it that British look. Right.

60
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:29,110
Hence the policeman's helmet, also?
Yeah. Right.

61
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:32,406
And the Flopsy bunnies,
do you think they will they work?

62
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:36,000
O yeah definitely.
They balance out Tarka the otter.

63
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,000
It would look very odd
with just an otter.

64
00:04:40,003 --> 00:04:43,000
Yes. Well, that I don't deny.

65
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:48,796
And then for my train, she thought...
Thomas The Tank Engine. Right.

66
00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:51,744
Along with Percy and Gordon.
Mmm, right..

67
00:04:51,844 --> 00:04:55,000
It's quite a lot to pull up
the aisle - three steam engines.

68
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:59,298
No, they'll be very light.
She's making them out of lino.

69
00:05:02,148 --> 00:05:06,253
What do you think?
Can I be brutally honest?

70
00:05:06,353 --> 00:05:09,284
As brutally honest as you want. Good.

71
00:05:09,384 --> 00:05:12,276
As long as you don't say anything
nasty or critical in any way.

72
00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:18,000
Right, Well... working within
those particular parameters, then..

73
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,366
I love this dress.

74
00:05:20,564 --> 00:05:21,799
Oh, Brillo Pads!

75
00:05:21,899 --> 00:05:22,693
Excuse me.

76
00:05:24,675 --> 00:05:29,048
Mrs Alice Horton.
David, Hugo, come on in.

77
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,341
Hello, husband-to-be.
Hello, wife-to-be.

78
00:05:35,541 --> 00:05:37,867
Hello, father-in-law-to-be.

79
00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:40,501
Hello, Miss Tinker.

80
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,711
Tea, Alice? OK.

81
00:05:45,338 --> 00:05:47,800
Bye-bye, Daddio. Doo-doo.

82
00:05:49,594 --> 00:05:51,691
It's like the planet of
the Clangers in here.

83
00:05:53,323 --> 00:05:56,418
I come strait to the point,
I've invited a lot of family and friends,

84
00:05:56,518 --> 00:05:59,690
so I want to make sure this
wedding's not a total embarrassment.

85
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:05,400
Oh, fear not. Hugo and I have kept
a very careful eye on things. Yes.

86
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:09,919
All the catering is sorted out.
Good old Burger King. Yes.

87
00:06:10,019 --> 00:06:13,800
Can't have too many gherkins
at a wedding I always say.

88
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,173
And we've been tweaking your speech,
hav'nt we Hugo.

89
00:06:16,273 --> 00:06:18,441
That's right.. I knew I cracked it
when I put in your joke

90
00:06:18,541 --> 00:06:21,733
about the Australian who got
stung by a snake on his todger.

91
00:06:24,836 --> 00:06:29,629
I'll just go and help Alice.
Would you like to sit down?

92
00:06:29,729 --> 00:06:30,768
Oh, my God!

93
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,654
Please tell me
she's not wearing this!

94
00:06:35,037 --> 00:06:37,720
No, David,that's just a piece of paper
with a drawing on it.

95
00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:40,382
She'll be wearing the finished dress,

96
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:44,000
sculpted from only the
finest-quality wool and linoleum.

97
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:50,872
And what's that? That is Bobby Moore
receiving the World Cup in 1966.

98
00:06:52,024 --> 00:06:57,445
If she wears this dress, I am not
coming! This is just what I feared.

99
00:06:57,645 --> 00:07:00,854
Vicar, I will see you at drinks
on Tuesday,

100
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:04,413
by when I expect to hear
that changes have been made.

101
00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:08,718
Hugo!

102
00:07:09,216 --> 00:07:10,509
Bye Alice.

103
00:07:15,085 --> 00:07:18,506
Oh, when he kisses me
I go all goose-pimply,

104
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,893
like a great big pimply goose.

105
00:07:21,093 --> 00:07:24,803
Oh, it's all going to be so perfect!
Yes...

106
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:28,263
I have been having second thoughts
about this dress.

107
00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:31,796
Really? You think I should go nude?
No.

108
00:07:32,727 --> 00:07:36,621
It's a thought. -No, no, no,
I just think it should be simpler, that's all.

109
00:07:36,721 --> 00:07:40,523
Oh, you mean like lots of hearts
or something? Yeah.

110
00:07:40,623 --> 00:07:42,566
With a different Dr Who in each one?

111
00:07:44,075 --> 00:07:45,946
No.

112
00:07:46,953 --> 00:07:49,368
Hi. Welcome to the party. Come in.

113
00:07:49,486 --> 00:07:51,536
Let me take your coat. Oh, great.

114
00:07:51,636 --> 00:07:56,821
Nice blouse! Oh, thank you. My mum
knocked it up from some curtains.

115
00:07:59,524 --> 00:08:00,474
Fun.

116
00:08:01,478 --> 00:08:03,348
Hello, Vicar. Hello, Hugo.

117
00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:07,103
I got so lucky. SO many girls
don't have any dress sense at all.

118
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:14,930
Oh, God. I've forgotten
to put my make-up on. ..Oh, hell.

119
00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:18,793
Who cares? It's the woman inside
that counts, eh, Ali-pally?

120
00:08:18,893 --> 00:08:20,443
Every time, Vic-stick.

121
00:08:20,643 --> 00:08:22,793
Girl power!

122
00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:27,948
Geraldine, I'd like you
to meet my little brother Simon.

123
00:08:30,436 --> 00:08:33,034
Well, hello.

124
00:08:34,857 --> 00:08:37,905
Would you excuse me just, er...?

125
00:08:51,544 --> 00:08:55,283
Move it! ..Hi, I'm Geraldine!

126
00:08:55,383 --> 00:08:58,068
Yes, I've heard you on the radio.
It's very amusing.

127
00:08:58,268 --> 00:09:01,200
Was I? Oh, was I?

128
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,717
A very funny story about the
choirboy and the cucumber. Thanks.

129
00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:11,226
So, you're the prodigal brother.
In what way prodigal?

130
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:15,067
Too much drink. Too much sex.

131
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:16,888
Too little responsibility.

132
00:09:16,988 --> 00:09:18,402
Ah-huh-ha.

133
00:09:18,602 --> 00:09:21,539
Well, that's my kind of prodigal.

134
00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:25,337
So, here we are -
total strangers

135
00:09:25,437 --> 00:09:27,458
trying to find out
more about each other.

136
00:09:27,658 --> 00:09:31,760
So just plucking a question totally
at random - are you married?

137
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:38,768
No, my wife died six years ago.
Good...God! How awful.

138
00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:42,200
Yeah, well, it's a long time now.

139
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,434
So, is there another special lady
in your life at the moment? No.

140
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:50,449
But you'd like one!
Yes, I'd love one.

141
00:09:51,399 --> 00:09:53,510
Point me towards a buxom blonde

142
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:58,501
and I'd be out of that door like
a bullet out of a great big gun.

143
00:09:58,701 --> 00:10:01,761
Blonde... Right. Blonde...

144
00:10:01,961 --> 00:10:05,271
Well, I suppose blondes
are valuable people too.

145
00:10:06,512 --> 00:10:08,435
I'm looking forward to
the rehearsal tomorrow.

146
00:10:08,535 --> 00:10:13,398
You're coming?... Wild
dinosaurs wouldn't keep me away.

147
00:10:13,598 --> 00:10:16,595
I want to see you in action, Vicar.

148
00:10:16,795 --> 00:10:20,677
Oh, please, just call me Geraldine.
Hey, just call me Gerry!

149
00:10:20,877 --> 00:10:26,200
Actually, forget the ruddy vowels,
just call me Grr. Grr, it is.

150
00:10:31,225 --> 00:10:33,499
Hi, Jim. Come on in.

151
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,893
What can I do for you
this merry day?

152
00:10:37,093 --> 00:10:40,215
There's something
I'd like to try out on you.

153
00:10:40,415 --> 00:10:42,456
Oi-oi.

154
00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:45,542
It's my best-man speech.

155
00:10:47,708 --> 00:10:49,876
Nothing I'd like better!

156
00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:57,300
Right, well... Ladies and gentlemen,
pray silence for the best man.

157
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,400
I would like to begin

158
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:08,096
with a quotation
from that great song of Abba's.

159
00:11:09,344 --> 00:11:14,111
Kn-Kn-Kno... Kn-Kn-Kno...
Knowing me...

160
00:11:16,005 --> 00:11:22,954
Kn-Kn-Kno... Kn-Kn-Kno...
Knowing you...

161
00:11:23,154 --> 00:11:27,897
I'm going for some water from the
kitchen. I'll still be listening.

162
00:11:28,097 --> 00:11:29,549
Right.

163
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,406
Know... Know... Know...

164
00:11:33,606 --> 00:11:35,373
Knowing me...

165
00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:39,827
Know... Know... Know...
Knowing you...

166
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,182
Ah-ha...

167
00:11:45,382 --> 00:11:47,377
There is nothing we can do

168
00:11:47,577 --> 00:11:52,480
We just have to face it this time
We are through.

169
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:57,603
Now I hear you saying
Why has he chosen

170
00:11:57,803 --> 00:12:02,847
Know... Know... Know... Know...
Knowing me?

171
00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:05,379
Just going to get a biscuit as well.

172
00:12:05,579 --> 00:12:11,373
Know... Know... Know...
Knowing you.

173
00:12:11,973 --> 00:12:16,378
Surely, that song is about divorce?

174
00:12:16,678 --> 00:12:17,848
Right!

175
00:12:17,948 --> 00:12:19,574
But that is my point.

176
00:12:19,674 --> 00:12:27,916
You see, know...know...know...
know...know...knowing Hugo

177
00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:32,686
and know...know...know...
know...know...knowing Alice,

178
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:40,171
I am sure, unlike Abba,
they will never divorce.

179
00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:46,864
She definitely said ten.
I can't imagine what's held her up.

180
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:54,614
Morning.

181
00:12:54,814 --> 00:12:56,745
Morning Vicar.

182
00:13:00,382 --> 00:13:03,650
Simon not here?
No, something else came up. Oh.

183
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:09,442
Right. Some dinosaurs perhaps.
Pardon? Nothing.

184
00:13:10,142 --> 00:13:13,096
Right. Let's get started,
shall we?

185
00:13:13,296 --> 00:13:15,684
Jim, have you got the ring?

186
00:13:16,284 --> 00:13:18,118
No, I haven't.

187
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:22,364
No, I know you haven't got it now,
but you will have it on the day?

188
00:13:22,464 --> 00:13:24,639
That's right.

189
00:13:24,839 --> 00:13:29,177
Right. So...
Have you got the ring?

190
00:13:29,377 --> 00:13:33,404
No. I'll have it on the day.

191
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,452
Right. Moving on, then.

192
00:13:35,652 --> 00:13:40,394
Owen, it's a wedding video.
It's not Schindler's List.

193
00:13:41,391 --> 00:13:43,216
Oh, Alice, this one's filthy!

194
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:47,087
Sorry. Please excuse me. I've got
to get ready for evensong. Right.

195
00:13:47,287 --> 00:13:53,366
I-I'll leave you to it. ..Oh,
hello, Uncle Simon. Hi, bog brush.

196
00:13:56,190 --> 00:14:00,390
I'm sorry I missed the rehearsal.
It's that bloody motorway.

197
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,291
No don't worry really.

198
00:14:03,299 --> 00:14:05,630
Shall I help you with that?
No, I do it every day.

199
00:14:07,001 --> 00:14:11,535
Actually, if you could help
at the back... Thanks.

200
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:15,908
Well, hello! Blondie!

201
00:14:16,108 --> 00:14:20,900
What this? This is just a whim,
just a whimsical whim.

202
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,480
That's me for you - born whimy.

203
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:27,566
I planned to go out for dinner this
evening, get away from big brother.

204
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:31,664
I was wondering, if you would concider joining me?

205
00:14:33,668 --> 00:14:35,528
Yeah, wouldn't mind.

206
00:14:37,683 --> 00:14:41,723
Don't forget my hen party tonight,
Geraldine. I'll be round at eight.

207
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:45,559
Ah. God obviously hates me.

208
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:50,110
Another day. Another day.
How about tomorrow?

209
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:54,021
I have to get back to Liverpool
straight after the reception.

210
00:14:54,221 --> 00:14:58,324
Liverpool? Yes,
I'm "your friend in the north."

211
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:03,153
Oh, blondie...
I'll see you at the wedding.

212
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,405
Ah...

213
00:15:12,898 --> 00:15:15,379
Now I'm anybody's!

214
00:15:19,595 --> 00:15:24,052
This is the best party I've ever
been to in my whole life. Is it?

215
00:15:24,252 --> 00:15:26,631
Me too. It's wild, isn't it?

216
00:15:28,274 --> 00:15:30,928
Everybody's been so nice,
haven't they?

217
00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:34,093
I can't imagine a better best man
than Jim.

218
00:15:34,193 --> 00:15:37,964
No.. I think his speech
is going to be a real highlight.

219
00:15:38,587 --> 00:15:42,394
Oh, dear Frank agreeing
to give me away! Yes.

220
00:15:42,594 --> 00:15:45,055
It would have been nice
to have had Mr Horton,

221
00:15:45,155 --> 00:15:46,906
being my actual biological father,

222
00:15:47,106 --> 00:15:51,361
but for obvious reasons
that's not possible and Fank's lovely.

223
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:56,615
Sorry, sorry. Just slipped into
a parallel universe

224
00:15:56,715 --> 00:16:00,020
where absolutley nothing
made sense there for a moment.

225
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:04,873
You said Mr Horton was your father.
Yes. He didn't bring me up or anything,

226
00:16:05,073 --> 00:16:08,929
but Mum said that one night
they had a "stand" together

227
00:16:09,029 --> 00:16:11,820
and that makes him
my biological father.

228
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:16,100
Gateway to hell wide open now.

229
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:22,478
I suppose that's one reason Hugo and
me get on so well - being related.

230
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,826
Nobody would know...

231
00:16:30,174 --> 00:16:32,282
Nobody would know...

232
00:16:34,741 --> 00:16:38,888
..until the day
the first child was born...

233
00:16:39,702 --> 00:16:41,607
with eight legs...

234
00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:44,571
and webbed feet...

235
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,876
and fur.

236
00:16:53,832 --> 00:16:55,466
And there she is.

237
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:59,582
Our first glimpse of the vicar
on this very special wedding day.

238
00:16:59,682 --> 00:17:01,678
What are you doing?

239
00:17:03,477 --> 00:17:08,363
Are you all right, Vicar? I'm just a
bit off-colour. I've a cold coming.

240
00:17:08,563 --> 00:17:10,844
Would you like me to rub
some Vick on your chest?

241
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:15,289
No, that won't be necessary,
thank you Owen. -Shame.

242
00:17:16,489 --> 00:17:19,773
Owen, I'm going
to have to cancel the wedding.

243
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,580
Because of a sniffle?

244
00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:24,069
No, because I just found out last night,

245
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:28,770
that Alice's biological father
is David Horton.

246
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,921
-Yes that's right.
What's the problem?

247
00:17:33,324 --> 00:17:38,820
Sorry?.. Has the British legal and
ethical system entirely bypassed Dibley?

248
00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:43,181
David Horton!!!
You do know who I mean by David Horton?

249
00:17:43,381 --> 00:17:45,985
Yes. The cousin
of our David Horton's father.

250
00:17:46,085 --> 00:17:47,986
His predecessor on the council.

251
00:17:48,186 --> 00:17:50,938
Dirty Dave Horton,
the stud of Stadhampton.

252
00:17:50,994 --> 00:17:55,608
Oh, right! Right! Obviously!

253
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:58,008
Oh, Owen.

254
00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:01,498
I love you.
Shall we go to bed, then?

255
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,777
No.

256
00:18:04,297 --> 00:18:05,877
Oh, I'd better hurry.

257
00:18:47,413 --> 00:18:51,719
We come together to witness
the marriage of Alice and Hugo.

258
00:18:51,919 --> 00:18:56,108
Before we begin, we'll sing
one of Alice's favourite hymns.

259
00:18:56,308 --> 00:18:58,640
I say "hymn"...

260
00:19:01,586 --> 00:19:09,038
 Come a little bit closer, baby
Get it on, get it on tonight

261
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,159
 Tonight

262
00:19:11,259 --> 00:19:14,343
 When two become o-one

263
00:19:14,543 --> 00:19:18,667
I need some love like I've
never needed love before...

264
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,619
I wanna make love to you, baby!

265
00:19:21,819 --> 00:19:27,691
 Now I'm back for more...
I wanna make love to you, baby

266
00:19:27,891 --> 00:19:30,003
 Set your spirit free

267
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:34,239
 It's the only way to be-e-e-e. 

268
00:19:37,118 --> 00:19:41,069
If any person here knows
of any just cause or impediment

269
00:19:41,269 --> 00:19:45,043
why these two should not
be joined together in matrimony,

270
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:48,592
let them speak now
or forever hold their peace.

271
00:19:49,382 --> 00:19:50,896
Yes!

272
00:19:53,456 --> 00:19:54,480
I do.

273
00:19:58,147 --> 00:20:00,360
The groom is already married.

274
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,782
He married me three years ago,
and don't let him deny it.

275
00:20:05,982 --> 00:20:07,918
I've got the marriage certificate
to prove it.

276
00:20:13,394 --> 00:20:16,748
Oh, sorry. Wrong church.

277
00:20:39,182 --> 00:20:41,161
Have you got the ring?

278
00:20:41,361 --> 00:20:42,985
Yes.

279
00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:01,547
No.

280
00:21:02,347 --> 00:21:03,925
Right.

281
00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:09,852
With this ring, I thee wed.

282
00:21:10,052 --> 00:21:11,635
With this ring...

283
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:14,390
..I thee wed.

284
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:19,556
With my body, I thee worship.

285
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:24,240
W-W-W-W...

286
00:21:30,303 --> 00:21:32,461
Repeat after me -

287
00:21:33,642 --> 00:21:38,128
I, Alice Springs Tinker...

288
00:21:38,328 --> 00:21:42,100
..take thee, Hugo Horton...

289
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:45,947
..take thee, Hugo Horton...

290
00:21:46,147 --> 00:21:49,110
..to be my lawful wedded husband...

291
00:21:49,310 --> 00:21:55,296
..to be my lawful wedded husband,
to have and to hold...

292
00:21:55,496 --> 00:21:58,564
..to have and to hold...

293
00:21:58,764 --> 00:22:03,170
..from this day forward...
..for richer, for poorer...

294
00:22:03,370 --> 00:22:09,980
..for better, for worse,
till death us do part. Amen.

295
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:14,404
..in sickness and in health...
Yes, in that too.

296
00:22:17,663 --> 00:22:19,611
I know true love when I see it,

297
00:22:19,711 --> 00:22:24,161
and I saw it in this pair
from the moment I arrived in Dibley.

298
00:22:24,361 --> 00:22:27,233
I also know true insanity.

299
00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:30,193
I think I've had a little glimpse
of that too.

300
00:22:35,330 --> 00:22:41,389
And so, by the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you man and wife.

301
00:22:42,621 --> 00:22:44,360
You may kiss the bride.

302
00:22:45,713 --> 00:22:47,206
No, Jim.

303
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,252
Not you.

304
00:23:05,625 --> 00:23:11,284
 Wild thing
You make my heart sing

305
00:23:13,276 --> 00:23:17,771
 You make everything...groovy.

306
00:23:32,136 --> 00:23:33,908
Splendid service, Vicar.

307
00:23:34,108 --> 00:23:36,422
I'll throw my bouquet. Ready?

308
00:23:36,622 --> 00:23:38,378
I wonder who the next bride will be.

309
00:23:38,478 --> 00:23:43,113
Don't tell me you believe
in all that superstitious nonsense.

310
00:24:04,629 --> 00:24:06,943
Ah! Gosh.

311
00:24:07,143 --> 00:24:08,982
Looks like it's me.

312
00:24:11,090 --> 00:24:13,360
Here we are.
Oh, thank you.

313
00:24:23,139 --> 00:24:27,368
Ahem. While Alice and Hugo
are getting ready,

314
00:24:27,468 --> 00:24:29,683
I'd like to make
a small announcement.

315
00:24:29,883 --> 00:24:32,833
A good old Vicar speech
for every occasion, eh?

316
00:24:33,033 --> 00:24:36,844
I'd just like to say that today
was a very special wedding for me

317
00:24:37,044 --> 00:24:41,139
because I am, in fact,
going to be leaving Dibley.

318
00:24:41,739 --> 00:24:45,604
And so it was in fact,
my last marriage here.

319
00:24:46,404 --> 00:24:49,314
I'm going to miss you all to bits,
obviously.

320
00:24:49,514 --> 00:24:54,815
It's just that I feel spirituality the real
problems are in the inner cities,

321
00:24:55,015 --> 00:24:59,633
so I'm going to a new parish
in Liverpool.

322
00:25:00,561 --> 00:25:04,557
And I happen to know
a couple of tall people there,

323
00:25:04,757 --> 00:25:08,184
so I think the whole experience
will be very satisfying.

324
00:25:08,384 --> 00:25:09,782
Thank you.

325
00:25:10,482 --> 00:25:16,036
Vicar, for the first time in my life,
I'm speechless.

326
00:25:17,036 --> 00:25:19,975
Well, not the first time.

327
00:25:20,175 --> 00:25:24,081
As a baby, I was speechless,
obviously.

328
00:25:24,281 --> 00:25:28,105
And in 1972,
I lost my voice for a day,

329
00:25:28,205 --> 00:25:32,953
so in a sense
I was speechless then... Dear Frank.

330
00:25:33,153 --> 00:25:35,660
I whant you to know, you're the
best vicar we've ever had.

331
00:25:35,860 --> 00:25:39,153
Thank you Owen.
All the others were ugly bastards.

332
00:25:40,996 --> 00:25:43,507
You're a very tender human being Owen.

333
00:25:43,707 --> 00:25:45,606
You've been just wonderful,

334
00:25:45,806 --> 00:25:51,691
and after you we want another woman
vicar... Turned you into a feminist Jim!

335
00:25:51,891 --> 00:25:56,751
..with a lovely arse, like yours.
I spoke too soon.

336
00:25:56,951 --> 00:26:01,080
So you're becoming a Liver bird.
It's gonna be great.

337
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:07,529
What a cruel sod Fate is. David's
asked me to run the estate for him.

338
00:26:07,629 --> 00:26:09,232
I shall be moving to Dibley.

339
00:26:10,394 --> 00:26:11,396
..Really?

340
00:26:11,919 --> 00:26:13,607
Dibley?

341
00:26:13,807 --> 00:26:17,539
It's such a pity. We could have
really got to know each other good.

342
00:26:18,939 --> 00:26:21,111
Excuse me.

343
00:26:24,731 --> 00:26:28,517
Sorry.
Just another teeny change of plan.

344
00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:31,251
Vicar.
Sod it, I'll tell you later.

345
00:26:31,451 --> 00:26:37,541
Big hand for the bride and groom,
who are in their going-away gear!

346
00:26:42,645 --> 00:26:44,251
We're off to Barbados.

347
00:26:47,514 --> 00:26:52,106
Quite amusing, actually. I've put a
little firework in the exhaust pipe.

348
00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:55,729
No, no, no? So did I.

349
00:26:55,929 --> 00:26:58,337
Oh, dear. Me too.

350
00:27:04,253 --> 00:27:09,252
I must say, I think marriage looks
rather good fun, don't you, Vicar?

351
00:27:09,871 --> 00:27:16,987
Well, don't quote me on it,
but, er...yes, I do.

352
00:27:46,629 --> 00:27:50,477
So, the man from McDonald's goes
to the Pope and says,

353
00:27:50,577 --> 00:27:53,102
"Holy Father,
I have a proposition for you.

354
00:27:53,302 --> 00:27:57,213
"I will give the Church
a million quid

355
00:27:57,413 --> 00:27:59,307
"if every time you say
the Lord's Prayer,

356
00:27:59,407 --> 00:28:04,335
you say 'Give us
this day our daily hamburger.' " Mm.

357
00:28:04,535 --> 00:28:07,728
The Holy Father thinks about this
and he says, "My son,

358
00:28:07,828 --> 00:28:10,111
I cannot change the holy text."

359
00:28:10,311 --> 00:28:13,836
So the man says,
"OK. FIFTY million quid."

360
00:28:14,036 --> 00:28:18,604
So the Pope says,
"I'll put it to the cardinals."

361
00:28:18,804 --> 00:28:23,572
So he says to his cardinals, "I've
some good news and some bad news.

362
00:28:23,772 --> 00:28:28,400
"The good news is that I can get
the Church 50 million smackeroonies.

363
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,618
"The bad news is we'll have to lose
the contract with Wonderloaf."

364
00:28:35,128 --> 00:28:37,221
You see, cos they already had
a deal going...

365
00:28:37,321 --> 00:28:40,987
Over the daily bread. -I know,
-I get it.. You get it?

366
00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:42,092
Brilliant.

367
00:28:42,292 --> 00:28:44,874
Oh, you get it. What a relief!

368
00:28:50,477 --> 00:28:52,650
Stay.

369
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:57,250
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